This blog is the journal I've never kept.
As such, it has me always thinking. Thinking about the stories I've never told; memories that need saving, and how best to do that. I have been rummaging through old letters and photos, organizing, cataloging, and storing.....a long overdue project that is very satisfying.
To say that I NEVER kept a journal isn't actually true. I did have one when I was young. It was white, with a thin gold leaf border and a little key. The lock was so tiny, it was more of a suggestion than a deterrent.
I put my secrets in that diary, when I could remember to. One day, I took it on a trip to our relatives' house and I left it there by accident. Of course, they had to open it and read all of my ultra personal 13 year old thoughts in order to find out who it belonged to. When they returned it to me, I was horrified. Now THEY knew that I loved Doug Huber and that I still hadn't started my period! I thought I would die. I felt so awkward the next time I saw them; I never kept a journal after that.
So when I say I never kept a journal, it is because I have successfully, till now, buried it deeper than recall into the recesses of my memory in order to prevent further emotional trauma.
The very fact that I am sharing these things now, indicates my complete recovery. I am happy to report that I am prepared to chronicle my life from beginning, to the best of my memory, to present. So here goes..........
Today, I have been thinking about my very first memory.
I was 3 years old; we lived in a rundown rental in Weaverville, CA. I was sitting under the kitchen window, playing in the dirt. My mother, watching through the window, was hand washing clothes in the sink. When she pulled the plug, all of the suds came running out of a drain pipe onto the dirt where I was playing. The thick white foam looked beautiful, winding pathways through the rich brown dirt. I made chocolate cakes, frosted in white cream and stirred cocoa swirls into vanilla parfaits.
It is a very nice memory.
Weaverville - postcard dated 1961
It would be fun to hear about your first memory...
Would you please share it in the comments?